Tonight, I want so share something with my dear readers. This is not the first time I have posted on this particular topic, and I understand that this time period is not for me to go completely through before sharing with you. I want to be somewhat transparent in this testimony.
If I could only refer to this journey of becoming the best person I can be as a set of courses, and God as my professor, I am currently enrolled in the class "Loving and Accepting Others for Who They Really Are 101. " I think this is a course that I have been enrolled in for some time now, but one in which I am just now beginning to grasp the instruction.
I have an extremely special person in my life. I know that only God could have placed this person here. I love them so very deeply. It is a love bond that only others who have this type of relationship could ever know. It is a relationship that we can not create ourselves, but one that God provides for us. It is a relationship that I strive to perfect with each opportunity that presents itself. It is a relationship that I know God gave me because He trusted me and believed that I could do the job just right. That makes me smile.
In hindsight, it is also a relationship that I have been taking for granted. It is a relationship in which I have wanted to have TOTAL control over. It is a relationship that if ever broken or lost, it could absolutely never be replaced by another. It could be repaired, but even upon repair it would never be the same. It is a relationship that I now realize that I will help shape and mold, and at the core of it, I must accept the other half, flaws and all.
God marvelously made each and every one of us. A perfect Creator created imperfect beings. Somewhat ironic it seems. The perfect aspect of it all is that God accepts who we are, flaws and all, and loves us unconditionally. That stands to be true even though we are truly undeserving of His precious love. He created us with a plan and a purpose in mind, however through His permissive will, we are allowed to make our own decisions. Sometimes these decisions create a mess, and we have to call upon Him to rescue us from the cradle of it all. Sounds just like a parent relationship doesn't it?
My children are still young, but as my oldest child continues to grow, I am realizing how much I have been trying to MAKE him what I wanted him to be. Yes, parents must teach important values, morals, foundations, belief systems, and discipline in order to aid in our children's success. These lessons are much different than the attempt to change or alter the personality or characteristics that God has given the child. Here lies my dilemma.
I know that in all things, we are to have faith that God is in total control and will work them out for the best. At times, I feel that I am so busy "parenting" to prevent the world from grasping my child in future years, that I have not taken the time to just enjoy today with my child. There is so much in this world with our youth today. I get a sort of anxiety when I even think about the choices that my children will have to face as teenagers. I have learned to worry less and pray more. Does this mean that I do not worry at all? Absolutely not! This is a work in progress for me as a young parent. However, God is showing me that He wants to me to see the awesome characteristics and personality traits that He placed in my child, instead of trying to create what I want in him. He is showing me that even though my child may not have the same character traits that I have, and even though he may have different personality traits and interests, he too has a purpose and God has His own plan for how his journey to his destiny will be fulfilled. After all, he is only on loan to me because in reality he belongs to God.
Every parent has dreams and goals for their child, but what we fail to realize at times is that God does also, and his plans override ours; as genuine as they may be. As a young parent, I pray for God to teach me to parent and that He will continue to parent me. I also pray that He teaches me to love my children the exact way that each of them needs to be loved. (Each of us has a love language...great book, and that may be for another post.) I pray that God continues to teach my husband and I to love our children the way that He loves us, and to parent our children the way that He parents us. He loves and accepts us flaws and all.... and that's TRUE LOVE!!!
Lord, tonight I want to thank you for the blessing of being a parent you have given to my husband and I. I pray that you help us to be the parents that our children need us to be. Show us your will for our children's lives. Help us in times of frustration and lack of understanding to consult you and allow you to guide us as parents. I ask that you create a lasting bond of unconditional love between ourselves, our children, and You. Lord we love you! We thank You! I praise you in advance for what you have already prepared for our family! In Jesus name I do pray...Amen!